Growing Up Magic

Growing Up Magic

Becoming Independent

Recognizing the `self’ and the `other’

Your newborn baby does not possess the ability to differentiate between herself and the people around her – so much so that if you place a mirror in front of her, she will be unable to identify with her own reflection. This is because babies have no sense of the self or the other at the time of birth. But over time, as she develops various physical, mental and emotional skills and grows more confident, she is bound to start realizing that she’s her own person and will increasingly want to do things her way.

When she turns two, she is most likely to begin her adventure of self-discovery. This is the time when the amazing transformation from infancy to independence takes place. Where earlier she used to seem completely dependent on you, you may now begin to notice that your child has the physical and mental capacity to wander off on her own. All too quickly, though, she will also learn the limits of her powers as she tries new experiences. For instance, she may want to dress all by herself but may just not know how. And when she realizes that she doesn’t have everything figured out just yet, she may become a bit frustrated. But this is how she will painstakingly develop her own identity.

Between the ages of two and three years, your child will continue to struggle for independence. Her new-found autonomy is linked to her sense of self, and she may flaunt it in many ways. She may insist on wearing her pink dress on every single day of the week or may demand to eat only certain types of food.

There is no reason to worry over this sudden streak of independence or wonder if your child is capable enough of venturing out by herself as yet. You need to guide her. As long as she feels that you are treating her in a mature manner, she will feel encouraged and more confident.