Easing Into Preschool

Easing into PRESCHOOL

Getting Your Child Ready For Play School

It’s that time of the year again when children will be stepping out of their homes to acquire that much celebrated status of a school-goers. Beginning preschool will be a big change for your child, but it also represents a change for the parent. Your `baby’ will begin separating from you and entering unfamiliar surroundings. This is an exciting time for you both but it is also a time to separation, anxiety and grief. How your child ultimately handles this transaction depends largely on how you react. Focus on the excitement and challenge facing your child. It’s normal for children to be apprehensive, especially if they haven’t spent much time away from home. But even kids, who have been exposed to different situations and various caregivers since infancy, can be anxious about preschool. Before the big day, here are some ideas for parents to consider to ease the transaction from home to school:

Be Sensitive

Parents need to remember that children don’t have the depth and ranges of experience that adults do. For young kids, every experience is new. Never laugh at or deny your child’s fears, caution experts. Try to avoid responses like, “You’re a big girl now, and big girls don’t cry”. Instead, listen to her and try to reassure her in a positive manner. Inform yourself, as well as your child, about the new experiences she will encounter. At the same time, be careful not to respond too emotionally. If you say, “I know this is very difficult”, it only reinforces her fears and may leave an impression that she has reason to be afraid. A better response may be to tell the child, “I understand how you feel. Sometimes we all have to do things we don’t want to, but it is best for us to do them.” So she knows that you know how she feels but you have also sent a clear message. Your child needs to know that you expect her to go to school, no matter how much she fusses cries or stamps her feet.

Prepare in Advance

In most cases, a preschooler feels lost in strange surroundings amongst strange faces and may also be unsure whether her parent will be able to find her after school hours. A great deal of anxiety also can be alleviated if the parent and the child familiarize themselves with the classroom and the teacher by visiting the school just before the first day of class. Ideally, she should visit the school when students are there. Also, you could discuss with her teacher and fix a time when she can spend a little time with your child. “I took my daughter shopping for a lunch box,” says Sanjna, mother of now three-and-half-year-old Monika. “Having something interesting to look forward to on her first day, put a positive spin on the whole matter.” Also, be sure to explain what to expect, giving as many details as possible.

Rise early

Mornings are not the easiest time for most preschoolers. It can be quite difficult for your children to gear up for the day ahead. Get up earlier if the morning routine feels too hectic. Help her adjust to the school timings by initiating change into the routines at home, such as earlier bedtime or laying out her clothes a night before, from at least a week before she actually joins school.

Be on Time

It’s not always easy to get anywhere on time with little kids, but it’s worth making an extra effort to be prompt on school days. A child may feel like an outsider if the others are already there, engaged in activities. Sandili Sinha, a mother of three, finds that it can be hard for her son, Ratan, to cross the threshold if the classroom is already bustling. “It’s much easier for him if we get there a bit early,” she says. Especially on `high-risk’ shyness days, such as first few days of school and the first days back after vacation or illness. “I arranged with another parent to arrive together – so regardless of whether we were early or late, our children didn’t have to enter the classroom alone,” recalls Rohita, mother of now five-year-old Kriti. At the end of the day, being on time is just as important. Do what you said you were going to do, be there when you said you were going to be there, and it has to change, make sure the child is well aware of that in advance. Standing alone while other children are happily re-uniting with their loved ones can cause a lot of undue anxiety to a young child’s mind.

Don’t Rush Her

“It took me months before I was able to leave two-and-a-half-year-old Jasmeet, my second child, at school without having to peel his fingers off of me and endure his tears and tantrums. Although Jasmeet’s teachers reassured me that he settled down and seemed worry-free within minutes after I left, I felt heart-broken leaving him in such a state,” recalls Jaya Banerjee. When children move into a new environment such as play school, it’s often difficult for them to anticipate what it’s going to be like. “Therefore, it is very important that the process of starting play school should be gradual. “If possible, the mother should accompany the child to school for the first few days. This may help the child feel more at ease in what she sees as a scary new place filled with strange faces,” she opines.

But at times, letting the mother escort the child inside the school can backfire and make it even more difficult to explain to her that her mother has to leave. “I don’t think it is good idea for the mother to accompany the child in the class for the first few days but she can be in the earshot / close vicinity, just incase the child gets very cranky and uncontrollable.”

However, this transition from home life to play school does not come naturally to most children and parents, and needs to be handled carefully in order to make it a positive and fulfilling experience for the child. Behaviour inventories used by Gesell Institute of Child Development, found that a child who has to be dressed, fed and forced on to a school bus, is not ready for school. “It’s better to wait for the child till she is ready or prepare her for school readiness, rather than forcing her into school.” Although expectations may vary among generations, cultures and `what the experts are saying’, psychologists generally agree that there is no such thing as `a right time’ to begin school. The important thing to remember is to work at your child’s pace. Your baby will eventually be comfortable at her play school and you won’t be thinking about it again, at least not until main school.