Tell Me WHY

Tell Me WHY

Your child’s instant need to know `shy’ is a positive

aspect of his learning process

The preschool years are an age of hectic development – of a huge curiosity, the ability to talk, the ability to move and explore the world around him without needing help. Looking, touching, feeling and asking, the child continues his investigation of this newly discovered world.

He is like a sponge, ready to soak in as much of the world as he can. No longer satisfied with simple explanations, his buzzing brain demands details before he completely follows even a simple routine. As his ability to think and reason develops, so does his need to know `why’.

Why ‘why’

From your child’s point of view, `why’ is a wonderful word. Extremely easy to articulate, it makes adults stop what they are doing and take notice of what he is saying.

Why in conversation

Curiosity aside, your child’s `why’ serves the function of maintaining or initiating a conversation. At this age, he has a great need to be treated like an adult, and once in a conversation, he feels it important to be able to contribute something of value as well.

This constant questioning is a healthy habit. Your preschooler is jut starting with his initial set of vocabulary. He hears you talking and wants to grasp all the words and sounds. Help him to go smoothly through this new phase of development. This chatty stage is crucial to his learning new words and getting comfortable using and thinking with them. The more he grasps the language, the better he’ll be able to express himself – his feelings, needs and desires. This will help him to have more tools at his disposal for thinking, telling stories, and talking with you, his siblings, peers and other adults.

Answering his whys

It is extremely important for you to patiently answer all his whys. The questions that spring to his mind, if answered, will make him feel that you are truly interested and involved in his quest for continuous answers. Ignoring your child’s queries will make him think that he is being neglected and feel forlorn. Give as simple and honest an answer as you can to his questions. You may not be able to answer all of them in similar detail. There is no need to tell the whole truth. Just the amount that he can handle is enough. But it is important that you do not lie. Do not underestimate your child. If he comes to know that you lied, he’ll mistrust you in future too. Trust is one of the very basic factors in a strong and close relationship.

Encourage analytical, logical thinking in your child as it makes him arrive at conclusions, thus giving him the feeling of competence and achievement.

Handling Questions

Three-year-olds are simple unable to grasp lengthy explanations behind their questions, which is why they break up each answer with a further why. For him, the `why’ is a general question that can also mean `when’ and `how’? At this age his powers of observation are very high and nothing misses his eye.

Fuel his imagination

Children are by nature imaginative. When they listen to stories they try to create a visual in their mind – a situation that they can relate to. When they cannot, immediately they interrupt you with “why”. Even in an age-old fairy tale, these are your opportunities when you can remark the story to fit well into the context that your child can easily relate to. Let his imagination bridge the gaps between the reality and the fantasy.

He will wonder why the sun is yellow and the sky blue, and a million other things that you may not even question, but for him they are all new experiences. He is looking for connections between his experiences and the idea he has about them. If you keep your explanations small and simple, it will be easier for him to understand a particular concept. At three years of age he may not understand the solar system, but he most definitely can understand why night must follow day, why he has to come in when the sun goes to bed, and it is dark.

Encourage Positive Behaviour

Curiosity is a positive behaviour. If your child is curious to learn later in life, you feel happy about it. Your need to encourage it when he is at the early stage of this growing up process.

Sometimes you may be tempted to use `I don’t know’ as a convenient tool to respond to your child and let it go at that. This acts as a deterrent in his quest for knowledge and kills his curiosity. His curiosity is an extremely positive aspect of your child’s development.

When in doubt

No parent is really a know-it-all. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it is perfectly acceptable to admit as much. Tell him that maybe you should look up a book, and find out the answer for him. This will set an example for him to follow and teach him to explore more than one source for answers. This habit of `let’s try and find out’ is crucial in the learning process.

If harnessed carefully, this constant questioning can make your child’s thirst for knowledge stronger. Each `why’ will add a link to his understanding of the world.