To School With Joy

To SCHOOL with JOY

For school to be a joyous experience; and for your child

to benefit from the learning environment

To young children, going to school means growing up. And because they want to grow up and have the independence that being grown-up beings, they look forward to going to school. However, when the time comes for them to begin school, their eagerness may change to fear. Temper tantrums, imaginary aches, crying may be some of the ways they manifest their fears. We treat them as childish tantrums and hope that the child will settle down soon.

Ascertain if she is ready

There are many reasons for a child not being able to adjust in school. I remember my little niece, Palak, when sent to the play school, at two-and-a-half, just refused to go. Next year, she was the happiest child at the same school. We consider in India, that a child is ready for school at the age of three to four, but, of course, this is not true of every child. Some children are ready for school a good deal earlier than four, and some up to a year later. If your child does not seem ready for school at three or four, this just means that he does not conform to an artificial standard age, not that he is backward. There is nothing wrong in giving your child a growth year, so that he starts school somewhat later than his peers.

Feeling of insecurity

Your child may dread leaving the security of the home to enter the unknown world of school. This insecurity could stem from many reasons. Perhaps the child is afraid to leave home out of some unrealistic belief-the fear of some mishap occurring to their parents in their absence. Children need to be assured that by going to school, they will not lose you. Walking into the big school packed with strangers, they not only fear they will lose you, but that you may not be able to find them.

Write down your phone number and address on a piece of paper. Tell your child that the teacher can always get in touch with you. Show him that you know where his classroom is and who his teacher is. The child should feel that there is no way that he will get lost. Ensure that he is never left waiting at school when all the children have gone home.

Genuine problem

A child who is really miserable or frightened about school could be reacting to something in his school life. It could be some trivial problem, which has taken on gigantic proportions in your child’s mind. For Sumer, a six-year-old, going to the school toilet was a problem. He would hold on even when the urge to go to the bathroom was very acute, making it difficult for him to concentrate in class. Which in turn led to his hating school. Or at times potty accidents in class lead to a feeling of guilt and embarrassment among children. It is very important to train your child to dress and undress by himself. The school ayah must be gentle in handling potty accidents. Both parents and teacher must be sensitive so as to not hurt his self-esteem. Treat him as normal, and never make the child feel guilty. Or he could be having a problem with other children or with the teacher. It always helps to talk to your child and not to trivialize the problems. Talking to the teacher would enable the teacher in helping the child to adjust.

Developing rhythm at home

Over-indulgence can be hard on your child. Pampering and spoiling and over-protecting your child can keep your child dependent, feeling helpless, and possibly unable to cope on his own. Children who are brought up in homes where parents believe that childhood should be a totally carefree time of life usually develop a dislike of any activity that is similar to work. So these children like school as long as it is primarily play, but as soon as they move upwards through school and more and more effort is required to do the work they begin to dislike the school. Most children respond to some discipline and are quick to adapt well to the rhythm of a routine in home life. For instance, waking up timings, breakfast, school going, homework time, play time, dinner and sleeping. Children thrive on pattern and a regular life style. A rhythm of life becomes a habit, and an extremely enjoyable one. As a result, the child finds it easier to adjust to the school routine and discipline.

Your own attitude matters

Your own attitude towards learning, education, and study will greatly influence your child’s attitude towards school. A positive attitude is absolutely essential if you wish your child to enjoy school and get the most out of it.

It is helpful for children to realise, from a very early age, that school is compulsory and all children have to go to school. Patchy attendance gives the child the wrong idea about school.

Unpopular in class

At times your child may not like school because she is unable to make friends. Never try to buy friendship by sending goodies to school. It might help to do some straight talking with the child, and find out why she is unpopular. Try to find out about her behaviour indirectly from other children. Is she extremely bossy? Is she so over-anxious to please that she invites snubbing? Does she boast and show off all the time?

If your child is actually being bullied you may need to intervene not only for your child’s sake but also that of the bully and the school. For by bringing it to the notice of the school authority you would enable them to create the right balance for the overall adjustment of the whole group.

Problems at home

There are times when the root of the problem lies in the home environment and hot at school. Sometimes conflicts at home, parent’s separation, illness, death or any other disturbing event can lead to adjustment problems in the school. Children should be taken into confidence and kept abreast of every situation. If things are explained it becomes easier for them to cope with the crisis.

Don’t let small adjustment problems lead you into changing school. There is no certainty that if he could not be happy in this school he will be happy in the next.